


Shirt and Shoes Required

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 05:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: Clara and Ashildr have an unwelcome guest at their diner. Clara sorts things out. Ashildr is very low-key impressed. Can be read as shippy for them.





	Shirt and Shoes Required

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this news article: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-02-21/french-goanna-girl-scared-of-spiders-evicts-huge-reptile/8287604
> 
> I don't think I've posted this before, but if I did, let me know...I think it's just old.

“For the last time, no pets!” This was occasionally a difficult rule to enforce for a time-traveling intergalactic diner. Jim the Fish had nearly caused quite the scandal, to say nothing of the cat people. But four-foot lizards were definitely out. Especially if they were scaring the custom. Including, ironically, an Ice Warrior. Typical. Ashildr being in charge of the cooking duties today, it fell to Clara to take things into her own hands and manage the front of the diner.

Which, in this case, meant managing the back of the reptile. The tail seemed like a likely place to grab hold of the damned thing. “Stand clear,” she ordered needlessly, as most of the patrons were backed up or literally perched on the booths and tables. Bracing herself, she grabbed the scaly bastard and lifted, taking its hind legs off the floor.

The lizard, whatever it was, did not like this, and began hissing. Its claws scrabbled on the linoleum, failing to sink in. “That’s right,” Clara hissed back as she yanked it back. “Accept the inevitable. I’ve got a foot of height for leverage and a warm-blooded metabolism and opposable thumbs and...good job I’m not wearing roller skates today, actually.” Thus emboldened, she gritted her teeth and pulled harder, finally reaching the door. “And stay out!”

Clara walked back inside to a smattering of applause and one characteristically unimpressed slurp of a cherry cola. “Fat lot of good you were,” she snorted at Ashildr.

“You had things under control.” She took another plug of her drink. “Did you know it was poisonous and carnivorous?”

“Please tell me that it’s from some horrible alien world.”

“Australia, actually. So close enough.” Ashildr smirked around her straw.

“Goddamnit, Australia.” Clara shook her head and turned to the chastened Ice Warrior. “Chips?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry-not-sorry, Australia. I'll for-real apologize when everything stops trying to kill you there.


End file.
